During the early days of the pandemic quarantine, there were a lot of sales from brands I knew and loved. I took advantage of many of them for a few reasons. On a professional level, I thought I would go back to a job that would require a different level of wardrobe than my classroom teaching job. That didn’t happen. The work/school year was virtual and while I did get “dressed” most days, I was not wearing wide leg trousers and a silk button down while giving children a language assessment over Zoom. So, in the closet they sat, these beautiful semi-professional clothes that I had gotten on sale – a sale caused by the pandemic that caused the virtual work year. I also got more confident in and familiar with my own personal style, what kinds of clothes/shapes worked on me and what colors I gravitated towards… and then I had to make sure I had those things.
Then, we moved to a different state with a different climate, I left that job and I started working from home, for real. My current job is fully remote – while I will travel to see customers from time to time, I am home for the most part. Again, lots of video meetings and looking presentable from the belly button up. So, again not a lot of use for many of these beautiful clothes. I don’t want to get rid of them because I like them and I haven’t worn many of them.
My current social life also looks quite different than it used to. It’s a lot quieter, for now and that’s ok. But it does decrease my reasons to “dress” up. While I have plenty of reasons to travel to see my friends and I am so grateful for that, the truth is while I am in my new home city, I could easily go an entire week switching between different pairs of black leggings and different “nice” sweatshirts.
All this to say, my wardrobe shifted a lot in the last 2 years into something much more representative of my style and much more aligned with my values. However, it is currently something that doesn’t immediately seem to suit my current life. I need to get creative with the ways I utilize this beautiful wardrobe that I built while also remaining comfortable in the current iteration of my life.
This was a pandemic purchase that made A LOT of sense and saw A LOT of usage when we were all at home – the company’s website (Entireworld) was so cool and while the company is no defunct, this happy sweatsuit lives on!
Yes I CAN leave the puppy at home. Yes I DO wear outfits that aren’t just leggings and puffy coats.
WHAT
The first time I left the pup alone while I went out to lunch with J. She was fine, I was fine, everyone was fine.
WEAR
Jacket (Everlane): TBH, this jacket has been on and off the “to go” list… until I put this outfit on. It’s a super warm jacket and honestly I wish I would’ve gotten the green color when it was available, but I got the tan on sale. So, here we are. I loved it with the light jeans and have been finding ways to wear it since that have been somewhat successful. If it wasn’t so warm and comfortable I’d try to sell it or donate it BUT I am trying to love what I have and I think there’s promise with this jacket.
Jeans (Madewell): I have had these jeans for 5 years or so and I LOVE them. This is the second pair because the button popped off the first pair the FIRST time I wore them. When I brought them back to the store the sales person had the audacity to suggest I had purchased the wrong size….? I assured her that I knew my size and the button was defective. It was an awkward exchange but I stood my ground and these have been a staple in my closet ever since. They’re called the “Perfect Summer Jean” and while they perfect for summer, finding ways to wear them all year makes me real happy.
I “started” this page a year ago. Paid for the WordPress, promised myself I’d finally start writing about clothes. At that time I had set the “impossible goal” of no new clothes for the new year (2021). I was feeling the new year new me resolution buzz, flying high after waking up on 1.1.21 NOT hungover, ready to GO.
I failed. I can’t remember now exactly what purchase was the first “fail”… which goes to show how important it really was. Then my life got busy and changed a lot, for good reasons, wholesome, happy reasons. Those changes were hard. Are hard. And I lost focus, interest, energy to write about clothes, and I had completely failed at my goal of no new clothes. To be fair, my consumption has decreased considerably over the last 2 years and dramatically over the last 5. But, in terms of not buying anything new in 2021? I justified myself right outta that one by oh, March?
Jump to October. The dust is kind of sort of settling on the big life changes, namely a move to a new state and a change in career/period of “fun-employment” as a “trailing spouse” or soon to be spouse: and I felt reinvigorated to give it a go. I actually POSTED some posts! And, I set a new goal. Inspired once again by the idea of a “challenge” the “last 90 days” of the year – read the first post, it’s all there. And… I failed. Started with small failures… Poshmark purchases which I could justify and purchase for outerwear that felt/feels necessary to exist in the PNW in a way that allows me to comfortably go outside. And, I got a dog so I have been going on A LOT of walks in the PNW weather that I am honestly ok with. So between the walks and the weather and the 2nd hand nature of the purchases, I could justify those purchases to myself I’ll start again in the new year, I’ll write about it then in the new year.
New year? Same goal. Have I “failed” yet? Yes.
But are these “failures”? I set an arbitrary goal for myself that I literally called impossible. And then I proved myself right. I’ve felt… guilty, shameful about this. It’s so privileged and ridiculous. To be setting goals to not buy clothes, and then not meeting those goals? What a “problem” to have.
The truth is, I like clothes. I like looking at clothes and thinking about how clothes fit together and creating outfits. I am very sensitive to how things look, very aware of details. My brain swirls around these kinds of details all day long and usually, the details are about my clothes. Or the end of the world. Or my dog. AND, I am not into “fashion” nor am I enough into “sustainable fashion” to really “count” as someone who could write about clothes. But I do really care about where my clothes come from and think about it a lot. I’m a millennial, I love a mirror selfie, I’m self-centered and I’m sensitive to aesthetics. I like when things look good. I like when clothes are made well and with care. I appreciate quality and simplicity. I am worried about and sad for the natural world and the terrible impact choices like mine have on my fellow humans and the other living things on this planet. I’m also a catastrophic thinker so, it can get real dramatic in my mind. I think about the impact of my choices, I think about capitalism and advertising and social media and my personality and anxieties and how these things combine to make it SO F-ING HARD to NOT buy stuff online.
And I’m not alone. I know for sure more than one of my close friends has similar “struggles”. It’s not just me. What if we could all just pause and think?
All this to say, I don’t know the goals of this writing. I acknowledge that I stand in a place of incredible privilege. That alone makes me not want to indulge in what I deem a vapid “hobby”… that takes up so much mental space. I am worried about getting it way wrong and being way tone deaf. And yet, I cannot stop thinking about this blog, this idea. These ideas. And so, we begin again. With an intention for fun. Playful snark. Not taking any of this too seriously because it isn’t serious… and yet it kind of is? Maybe someone else feels the same way I do.
Anyway, this is what I wear 95% of the time, this or a version of this.
WHAT
Many, many neighborhood strolls with the lil cutie pictured at my feet.
WEAR
Jacket (Girlfriend Collective) – My love for this brand runs deep and this puffer is no different. Made from recycled plastic this jacket is warm and soft and comforting. One of the first “new” purchases I made when failing at no new clothes for 90 days. Worth it on every level.
Boots (Blundstone) – A Christmas gift I chose for myself. I wear these every single day and just today a stranger shouted at me that she loved my boots, where were they from? And I spelled Blundstone for her out loud, across the street while our respective pups tugged at the end of their leashes. It felt very neighborly and very PNW because it was raining. These are well known for quality and comfort and they hold up. J picked out the rustic brown and at first I wasn’t sure, now I love it.
The last breakfast we went out to before our puppy (!!!!!) arrived and our lives got flip turned upside down. Took advantage of the dry, chilly forecast and wore all the non-water repellant clothes, had it rained I would have soaked it up like an actual sponge.
WEAR
The jacket (Free People) – Ok, so I have to admit I broke my 90 days no shopping, I’ll explain later. It’s really cold up here and I had to adjust or I was gonna lose it and never leave the house whicih is just asking for seasonal depression. I had been lusting after this damn jacket for many months and almost broke down in Nordstrom and bought it. On a whim, I turned to Poshmark and found it! The rush of finding something good on Poshmark is notable. It was my first Poshmark experience and I was nervous! But, she arrived swiftly, clean, not smelling of anything weird, cozy. And charcoal gray. Not black as described, but honestly I like this better.
Shoes (Nothing New) – The sustainable, vegan, recyled version of Chuck Taylors. They are hard to get on and off, I got them right before the panny hit so they are still in nearly new condition. I am still breaking them in and I think I love them! I wore 3 pairs of socks.
The eternal question of my life has taken on a new tone since moving to the PNW. The answer so far has been a resounding no.
Today’s edition of “Will I be Warm Enough?”
What:
Running one thousand errands, trying to take advantage of the last of TWO WHOLE DAYS without rain. Running errands when it is not raining is just easier. It was still 45 degrees out. Was I warm enough? Kind of. Did I look like I had just left Jazzercise? Kind of.
Wear:
Coat: (Only Child sadly no longer making clothes…). This wool overcoat was my first slow-fashion purchase and that felt like a big deal. J said it looked like a carpet. It is not nearly as warm as I wish it to be, however I have learned how to layer it and I love it so much. Feels like a hug. I could (and plan to) go on and on and on about Only Child… woman owned, handmade goods based in Oakland, CA. Just exactly what I wanted my clothes/style to be and exactly how I wanted my clothes made.
Sweater: (Pact) The amount of basics I have from this company is kind of wild, they replaced Old Navy for me. Better quality though. This company checks ALL the sustainability/ethically made boxes, based on my limited research. This sweater had a lot of love in the reviews as a “pregnancy tunic”. I am not pregnant but I love a loose sweater.
Sneaks: (Everlane) I ordered these babies in January of 2020, so as you can imagine I am still breaking them in since well, the pandemic kind of cancelled the reasons to wear new white sneakers. They felt too big and too clunky initially but we’re starting to get along.
Socks: (Maggies Organics) Socks are a big deal up here for me. There are thick and made from organic cotton in the U.S. They slouch every so slightly. I love them. I ordered A LOT of socks from Earth Hero last week and I was not disappointed. Earth Hero has been just that recently – think the Earth Conscious, sustainable option to Amazon, kind of, they want to be… – I am trying to look there first if I need something semi-basic. Worth a look!
Swiffer: A friend of mine told me it was bad luck to bring an old broom into a new house, so it took us like 3 months but we finally brought a new broom AND a new swiffer into the house, just for good measure.
So. I got married recently and it was so glorious. I was lucky enough to be able to take a week and a half to just revel in the joy and celebration of marrying my most favorite individual – the one for whom I have relocated to the PNW. The one who has had some very grounding conversations with me around money and what he lovingly refers to as “emotional spending”. We are back in our new home city now and reentering real life as joyful newlyweds.
What/Wear
Here’s what I wore to our first lunch date as a married couple!
Sweater: Everlane recycled cashmere. This sweater hasn’t gotten enough love since I bought it. It’s boxy and light and still very warm. During the summer of the pandemic Everlane (and many other clothing companies) went wild with the sales and I partook in a major way (see emotional spending convos mentioned above….)
Jeans: Reformation – I LOVED these jeans when I got them and they were too long and too tight. So, I kept them for a few months until the fit… (I know, I know) and I got them hemmed. Which would’ve been great if the original hem wasn’t already fashionably “destroyed”. The tailor cut that right off and I got them back with a beautiful finished hem – which i hated. So, it’s been a process of re-destryoing the hem if you will. It’s also been a process of WILLING these jeans to fit through lots of stretching and shimmying and not washing and voila, they’re one of my favorite pairs now. I love the color a lot.
Boots: Madewell – an impulse purchase cheered on by a fashionable friend. They didn’t get a lot of wear during the last fall/winter because of the old pandemmy BUT they are out in full force now. I love the lug sole and they are about as close to those very cool clunky Doc Martins boots that I will get.
As I shop my own closet for the next three months and as I adjust to a new season of life, literally and figuratively I’ll share some of my fave details and some silly stories about what I wear around the PNW. No fancy photos, just me and my iPhone.
I’ve been reading “fashion” blogs for a long time. My OG bloggers have all grown a changed a lot over the years, gotten married, had children, changed the way they put their ideas out in the world and I love that. My favorite types of posts remain the classic OOTD. These What/Wear posts of mine are a take on those. A cheeky look into the closet of a bordering on basic millennial gal with a pretty standard but carefully considered closet of clothes she (mostly) loves.
What:
My first time running solo errands in the rain as a PNW local – wondering if the boots are TOO much? As I scurried through the drizzle to and from my car with its CA license plate I for sure looked out of place amongst my fellow locals who were definitely NOT wearing all weather gear in the drizzle.
Cold. Wet.
Wear:
The rain jacket (Northface) I love this so much… and I wish was a different size. This was a Christmas gift that I chose for myself (the best kind IMO) and I went back and forth MANY times between sizes… I even went to a Nordstrom to try it on. I got the small. And, I wish I would’ve gone with the bigger size. Lesson learned – never size down in outerwear
Leggings (Everlane) – recycled plastic water bottles! Allegedly. I dunno I haven’t done my own research… But I tend to believe. They’re light and stretchy and I love them.
Boots (Alice + Whittles) – waited a LONG time for these handmade/vegan/sustainable “hiking” boots to arrive from Portugal and when they did, they were uncomfortable. I think I am finally starting to break them in – and no they were not too much for the slick parking lots and mossy sidewalks.
Socks (Entire World)- whenever I wear these socks, J asks me if it’s still the 90’s so, I guess the look it spot on!
Here’s the goal: For the next 90 days, the last 90 days of 2021, no new clothes. Or shoes. Or bags. Nothing in, nothing out.
For the next 90 days – I will not buy any new items for my wardrobe. I started 2021 with the goal of no new clothes for the year. I was inspired to set this “impossible goal” after listening to a podcast (very millenial of me) and, well I failed. Big time. So. I want to recommit to the goal for the last 90 days of 2021 (a la Rachel Hollis – IYKYK).
When considering an impossible goal, one has to ask why one wants to achieve said goal (hint it isn’t about the goal, it’s about the journey) and why it feels impossible. Why this goal? Mindless consumption crept back into my life in recent months in a way that needed to be examined and limited.
Why was this goal “impossible”? I am fully aware that I am awash in privilege and that for many in the world this “goal” is utterly ridiculous and pretentious. I get that. And yet, I know others like me struggle with this. So why is not buying stuff so HARD? Capitalism. Retail therapy. Social pressure. Social media…. the list goes on. Instead of cruising the websites of my fav sustainable, ethical brands, clicking “add to cart” to soothe my soul/create a semblance of control as the world and my life change and change and change, I’ll share here. All I have is my own experience and my own limited point of view. I am always trying to learn more and challenge the things I think that I know.
I have learned so much from so many in the past few years. About the treatment of the fellow humans who make our clothes, about the substantial environmental impact our clothes have and about the many incredible companies and humans working to make the whole process more sane, more humane, more cyclical. It’s important information that needs to be shared and I want to be a part of the ever growing movement toward less consumption, thoughtful consumption .
I want to share stories about what I wear because I care about what I wear. My clothes are intentional and the way my clothes are made is something has been of growing importance to me (and MANY others, I am for sure late to this party). It is well known amongst my friends that if you tell me you like my (insert clothing item here____) I will happily share the deets about the price, where I bought it, the kind of company it’s made by, the environmental benefits/considerations of the piece and company of origin. I might even have a discount code for you! I am fascinated by clothes, where they come from, how we use them to express ourselves or the season of our lives.
This has all been on my mind for a long time. I’ve come a long way and I have a lot more to learn. So, why now? Aside from the inspiration of Ms. Hollis and her last 90 day energy.
Movement is filling my lift right now. Moving to a new city, in a new state. Moving to an entirely new climate. Moving into a new career. Moving through post-pandemic life. Moving into marriage. So much is moving and shifting, I am deciding to keep one small piece of life very still, very much the same. Sharing stories about my impossible closet and how it adapts to the changes in my life is an act of accountability and an exercise in creativity. Both things I could use some more of in my life.
This is my journey of adjusting my closet to a new climate, a new career, a new season of life and the ultimate goal of fewer, better things (that’s definitely trademarked by Cuyana).
Impossible Closet 